Random Thoughts

So one year ago today, the world has gotten a little sadder. March 31st 2005, Comedian Mitch Hedberg had died. I have made several posts about Mitch over the past year or so, you can check them out as I have a Category on him (currently the category list is on the left bar of this layout).

Mitch, you are missed man.

If you write a blog, and make a post about Mitch today, feel free to ping/link this post, or please comment with your favorite Mitchism.

Just got a couple links to videos of Mitch Hedberg on Conan… here at the links, and it the page it is on uses Windows Media Player:

Show Number one: http://gorillamask.net/conanmh1.shtml

Show Number two: http://gorillamask.net/conanmh2.shtml

These are really funny, He is very nervous, but thats just Mitch… ENJOY!

So there are from Mitch’s offical website www.mitchhedberge.net. They put up a message board there and these are some posts of non-CD jokes. I’m just picking the ones that made me laugh when I read them. (note: i’m copying and pasting from the thread, so the spelling errors and what not are not mine…. although if i did type them, they would come out the same way…. Also some might repeat from previous posts… i’m to lazy to go look)

“i got new balance shoes on, but their old, so i keep falling”

” a burrito is just a sleeping bag for ground beef ”

“i wished they made a fajita scented cologne, that shit smells fucking good”

“my apartment is haunted, i came home the other day and i saw a sheet lying on the ground, i thought it was a ghost that had passed out, so i kicked the mother fucker”

“A waiter came up to me backstage and said, ‘I got a joke for you,’ so I said what am I supposed to give you in return, a drink?”

“did you ever think a hippapotamous was just a really cool appotamous?”

“my belt holds my pants up but my belt loops hold my belt up. whose the real star of the show? what’s going on down there?”

“Last time I called Shotgun we had rented a limo…. I fucked up”

“I rent a lot of cars, you know, ‘cause I go on the road. I rent cars
and when I drive a rental car, I don’t know what’s going on with it,
right? So a lot of times I drive, like, for ten miles with the
emergency brake on. That doesn’t say a lot for me, but it really
doesn’t say a lot for the “emergency brake.” It’s really not an
“emergency brake”, it’s an “emergency make-the-car-smell-funny lever.”"
(more…)

So I found a few more Mitch jokes… (or as I like to keep calling them.. Mitchisms…) so I thought I would share them because they made me laugh…. Feel free to post your Favs. in my comments box below…

EDIT a couple hours later to add: There is a AP story HERE at abcnews.com that I also linked before… but in the article Mitch’s mom states: “She said her son was born with a heart defect and frequently felt anxious about his condition… Mary Hedberg said speculation that her son’s death was drug-related was gossip.

“We don’t know that for a fact,” she said, but added, “it’s not a secret Mitch used drugs. Whether that played a role in his death or not, we don’t know.” ”

“Man. I went to the doctor the other day. All this guy did was suck blood out of my neck. Thats the last time I am going to see Dr. Acula.”

“I used to play in a Death Metal band. Most Death Metal bands have dark names like “Obituary”. We weren’t that intense. We were just “Injured”. And later we changed it to “A Capella” as we were walkin’ out of the Pawn Shop.”

“Alcoholism is a disease, but it’s the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupus … one of those two doesn’t sound right.”

“My apartment is infested with koala bears. It’s the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light a bunch of koala bears scatter. And I don’t want them to, you know, I’m like, “Hey, hold on fellas, lemme hold one of yous… and feed you a leaf.”"

“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I’ll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They’re fucking relentless.”

thats it for now… gotta save some for all of you… and for later =)

RIP Mitch, you are missed.

Several reports have been out now that Mitch Headberg (yeah.. i feel like an ass… its hedberg, but i’m going to keep the mis-spelling cuz its bring me google traffic) had died the other night…. Very sad, he was one funny guy….. Mitch, you will be missed dearly…. Please feel free to leave random comments if you choose.

Some great lines from Mitch (a Mitchism if you please):

“You know they call corn on the cob, corn on the cob, but that’s how it comes out of the ground, man. They should call that corn, they should call every other version corn off the cob. It’s not like if you cut off my arm you would call it Mitch. Then reattach it and call me Mitch-all-together”

“If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.”

“I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said “Please Try Again” because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong…or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me, ‘c’mon, Mitchell, don’t give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.”

“My roommate says, “I need to shave and use the shower. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?” It’s like some weird-ass quiz where he reveals the answer first…
…Every time I go and shave I assume there is somebody else on the planet shaving as well, so I say “I’m gonna go shave too”"

Check out some links about Mitch and His death for some more up to date news then what you have found here:
http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/03/31/133404.php
MTV article
Wikipedia’s page for Mitch

Article from Mitch’s hometown paper… Pioneer Press

Edit April 3rd:

This is an AP wire story over on ABCnew.com